Tuesday, March 25, 2008

There's No Place Like Home...

I drove 2,747 miles last week.

My three year old and I went to Maryland to visit my beloved oldest three children over the Easter break. She was an amazingly good traveler, and her observations made for lively company as the miles rolled on. She noticed changes in foliage ("Look, Mama, there are not so many pine trees any more"), changes in temperature ("Mama, why is it so cold here? It's supposed to be springtime!"), changes in local cuisine ("Why can't we get grits here?"), and even changes in road kill ("Where did all the squished armadillos go? Only the squirrels are squished now."). Most of all, though, she noticed changes in the demeanor and comportment of the people around us: "How come nobody is smiling? How come that man didn't open the door?" Mama, he pushed. That's not nice!"

After my first foray North in a year, I had to agree with her: I like Mississippi better. Like the sign at the state line says, "It feels like home".

While I was in Maryland, the brake trouble light in my dashboard display came on. I checked the brake fluid, and it was a little low. I went to the nearest auto parts store, selected a three dollar bottle of brake fluid, and placed it on the counter. Before the clerk could ring it up, a man with his arms full of gadgets shoved in front of us, nearly stepping on my daughter and pushing her off balance, and plopped his stuff on the counter. "Excuse me...sir?" I started. The cashier looked bored, and began ringing up his purchase. I raised my voice. "SIR. Shoving me aside to put your stuff on the counter is one thing; pushing over a toddler is another. Could you please be careful?" He treated me to a string of expletives. "Mommy, those are BAD words", my daughter sagely observed. I had to agree.

At last, the boor left, and it was our turn. "That's all you're going to get?", the clerk rudely queried. "Yes, ma'am", I replied. The look of astonishment on her face told me she'd never in her entire life been called 'ma'am'. I paid, and we went to the parking lot. My daughter climbed into her seat, and I added brake fluid to the reservoir.

As we drove away, I shook my head in disbelief at the utter rudeness we had just experienced. I couldn't help but contrast the episode with my last visit to an auto parts store in Wiggins, when I had gone to pick up an extra quart of oil for my husband. A man with his arms full of heavy parts was approaching the checkout counter at the same time I was. I told him to go first, since his arms were full. "No", he replied, "you only have one thing, ma'am. You go." After I had paid for the item, the clerk asked whether I needed him to add the oil to my vehicle. "It's no trouble at all, ma'am", he offered.

There may be more blue collar workers in the South, but they are a lot more cheerful than the ones we encountered up North. From service stations to restaurants to grocery stores, smiles and well wishes started fading from South Carolina on up the interstate. By Virginia, they were pretty sour; by Maryland, everyone was downright rude. Thank the stars our destination wasn't New Hampshire.

People who travel long distances miss their loved ones and the comforts of home. We were no exception, missing my husband/her daddy, the rest of the kids, our beds, our home, our land, and home cooking.

We missed trees, too. The farther North we got, the more concrete surrounded us. A lush green landscape restores my soul. Maybe if so much of it hadn't been paved over up North, people would be happier.

My daughter missed grits. Sure, the Cracker Barrel in Maryland served them...but "Mama, they're not done right", she protested.

We both missed friendliness and courtesy. My daughter amazed people wherever we went in Annapolis with her cheerful waves, "Hey y'all"s, "Yes, ma'am"s, and "No, sir"s.

We missed a slower, kinder pace of life. I found myself admonishing my daughter to quicken her steps and keep pace with the flow of foot traffic in the hotel lobby. She slowed down even more and pouted, "I'm all done with this rushing, Mama". I stopped cold, looked at her thoughtfully, and decided, "Me too!"

We also missed warm weather, having gone from 80 degrees to below-freezing mornings.

After a wonderful and all-too-short visit with our precious ones, we made it home safe and sound. We had a very happy reunion with my husband and the rest of the family (not to mention a fabulous welcome-home dinner). We are once again in shorts and flip-flops. My daughter had "right way grits" for breakfast this morning, and we're about to run out to the store, where I'm sure we'll meet at least five people we know and will tell them stories of our adventures in the wild and uncivilized North. There's no place like home...

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